The first time it happened, I was in awe. I really did not believe it. Over time I have come to enjoy it. It starts with the full and proper sitting position. I have watched her. She slowly stretches her neck out. It is completely involuntary. Neck stretching, ears back, it starts inside her. Deep down inside her. A moaning grumble. Traveling through her furry body. Finally it reaches her mouth. Ahwhoo. She tests. Ahwhooooooo. She continues. Ahwhoooooahhhhhh. She howls.
My boyfriend first discovered the only true sound my dog Sally makes is howling. She will only do it when the three of us are together. It is so involuntary, she almost looks possessed. He insists it is the pack mentality. I think he is right and it is also just simply the nature of my dog.
Kind of like me and Pringles. There is a difference between me and Sally though. My involuntary primal urge only tends to happen when I feel utterly frustrated about something. I think it will relieve the pressure in a valve I have held tightly closed and it does not. Emotional eating at its best, huh?
This valve is work related. I seem to have stumbled upon a most curious work atmosphere and out pops the most curious me. One I do not really like. One I really did not think I had. I think it may have started after my brother’s death but truthfully I still hold this workplace a little more accountable than I would like to admit. During the daytime, I seemed to have developed a nearly complete inability to feel compassion for others. If you would have known me dear reader prior, you would surely agree that compassion was one of my defining traits.
This is what particularly disturbs me. I used to be someone who ALWAYS sought the good in each moment. I cannot now, in any truthful way, tell you that is what I do. I think we all rather suffer from some failing or another and I really do not want to hear your problems nor solve them. Am I growing older, growing up or just growing a thick skin? I wish I knew. I want my primal urge to spread peace, love and harmony back! Where did it go? I know it is somewhere.
My boyfriend first discovered the only true sound my dog Sally makes is howling. She will only do it when the three of us are together. It is so involuntary, she almost looks possessed. He insists it is the pack mentality. I think he is right and it is also just simply the nature of my dog.
Kind of like me and Pringles. There is a difference between me and Sally though. My involuntary primal urge only tends to happen when I feel utterly frustrated about something. I think it will relieve the pressure in a valve I have held tightly closed and it does not. Emotional eating at its best, huh?
This valve is work related. I seem to have stumbled upon a most curious work atmosphere and out pops the most curious me. One I do not really like. One I really did not think I had. I think it may have started after my brother’s death but truthfully I still hold this workplace a little more accountable than I would like to admit. During the daytime, I seemed to have developed a nearly complete inability to feel compassion for others. If you would have known me dear reader prior, you would surely agree that compassion was one of my defining traits.
This is what particularly disturbs me. I used to be someone who ALWAYS sought the good in each moment. I cannot now, in any truthful way, tell you that is what I do. I think we all rather suffer from some failing or another and I really do not want to hear your problems nor solve them. Am I growing older, growing up or just growing a thick skin? I wish I knew. I want my primal urge to spread peace, love and harmony back! Where did it go? I know it is somewhere.
Today I start a scavenger hunt. And, because you know me so well dear reader, you know with absolute certainty, I WILL find that seemingly elusive trio of lost feelings! I have discovered one place it is not: the bottom of this Pringles Original can.
Posts
