I recently realized dear reader you might be coming to an erroneous conclusion. I do not live to watch Oprah. I know. That's ok. We'll get through this together. Even though my last few posts have centered around her guests, there are many other literary muses in my life. In light of an upcoming Hallmark holiday, it is time to read about my ultimate cheerleader. As I contemplate 40, I think back to the start of my mom's fifth decade. She began hers by earning a master's degree in business administration. A few years later she would surrender the automobile and use her feet to carry her through life.
Having never remarried since her divorce over thirty years ago, my mother has taught me the beauty of self sufficiency. She has the most exciting life. Travelling the world. Opening her mind daily to new ideas and experiences. This year she explores Amsterdam! Because of her, I am sketching again and my desire for travel compounds.
Our relationship has not always been great. I do not worship her. I do understand, however, there are very few people who will (through thick and thin) always try to see the best in you. Those people are golden. That is what my mother continues to be for me.
The loss of my brother has of course taken a huge toll. It sickens me that one of the natural side effects of a grieving parent is questioning the value of their efforts. To hear her say she has failed saddens me deeply. This mother's day I am making a list. A list of good memories I have of my childhood. Memories of my mom and me. The memories will go on pieces of paper that I decorate. The pieces of paper will go in a box. The box will be wrapped and presented on May 10th.
It won't take the grief away but maybe, just maybe she can open the box during her times of sadness and loss to remember. Remember that unlike any other, the day she became my muse was the day she became a mother.
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